A letter to my girlfriends:

This life as we grow older, I have come to realize so clearly lately, has us all trying to squeeze everyone we care about into tiny packets of time. We are all running at this frantic pace all the time and we do our best to balance the time we have to also see each other – but mostly we squeeze in a visit here and there when we can – and certainly not as often as we like..

Going back to work full time as a mum now, even though I truly love my job, has been difficult as I struggle with that balance of where to put everything in my life plus how to see all of you in person – and how to keep up in a meaningful way. As a highly empathetic and sensitive person I always feel guilty when I am not in touch enough or not getting pictures out or …well you know the script. And I certainly am not alone in feeling like this – look at all those mummy bloggers out there telling it like it is, and isn’t it always a theme when catching up over a good bottle of red wine or a cup of coffee.

BUT my dear girlfriends, I am telling you that lately I am realizing that I must let this go and accept that it is OK if I am not perfect at it. I am becoming more forgiving of myself because I am hyper aware right now of what I now know without a doubt to be true – the complete impossibility of squeezing my entire personal life into two weekend days and a few evenings (let’s just say I have run scientific testing on this with conclusive results proving this outcome LOL).

So I am not claiming this as my own at all or as anything new… certainly all of us have our crazy schedules and endless to do lists regardless of whether we are mums, or are working or are at home.. or whatever we may be doing… I am just sharing my thoughts about it at this time in my life because it seems so darn clear right now.

It is all part of putting my life in perspective which is one of the reasons I started this blog. And you know what… I think that generally many of us seem to be doing pretty well in our grown up lives – for the most part I believe we are very blessed with what we have in this life, where we live, who we have in our lives, and the successes I have seen us all have. This seems cheesy perhaps, but I really do think about how fortunate I am and how very lucky I was to be born into this life. I wouldn’t change it – but I do wish I could have more time in it – another thing I am hyper aware of now that I am a mummy. I wish I could have more time on this planet (but I’ll save that topic for another day)…

So to my girlfriends… I have this to say to you:
I wanted to let you know that I miss you, a lot.
I wanted to let you know that I think of you often, daily in fact.
I wanted to let you know that I feel guilty that I can’t see you more.
I wanted to let you know that I am always there for you.
I wanted to let you know that if I am silent, I am usually dealing with a difficult issue
…or perhaps am just in a busy bubble attempting to cross off some of those to do list items (like finally tidying my shoes and coats in the hallway closet – which I am happy to say I got done this weekend).
Speaking of coats – I wanted to let you know I have kept my leopard print coat to remind me of days gone by.
I wanted to let you know that I admire all of you for everything you fit in, accomplish, and do in your lives.
I wanted to let you know that I am so proud of you for the wonderful women, wives, mums, career women, and beautiful people you have grown up to be.
I wanted to let you know that we all share the same stories.
I wanted to let you know that you are never alone.
I wanted to let you know that it is difficult sometimes but you can stand tall through anything.
I wanted to let you know that there really isn’t enough time to do it all – so take it easy on yourselves.
I wanted to let you know that you should always trust your gut feeling (this is a big one).
I wanted to let you know that I miss having tea with you.
I wanted to let you know I enjoy our visits so very much when we do see each other.
I wanted to let you know that I have so much more to say to you but am going to stop here – as I think I might never stop otherwise.

Take care of yourselves (and plan to have that bubble bath while reading a great magazine)!
Always, Jane

PS. I wanted to let you know that I finally figured out why mums shop early for everything 😉

8 thoughts on “A letter to my girlfriends:

  1. Well, I’m a little late in reading this one…..I’m reaching for a kleenex right now to mop up my tears too! You see I’m just bursting with love and admiration for the author of this blog, whom I am honoured to be the big sister of! Cheers to you Jane, and to your posse of super women and to women everywhere!
    xoxo 🙂

    • Now you are going to make me cry! Thanks big sis… You inspired me and gave me the courage and push to actually go for it with my blog. Thank you for all your love, support and encouragement. Love you!! Xo Jane

  2. So I was texting with Jane and she told me that she had written a new post on her blog. I was on my way home on the bus. Thank goodness the lights were off – I’m certain my mascara was down at my toes! Your message hit home. Everything made sense, and I could relate to every word written. We do think these things, and talk about them, and vent about them. And then we wonder how in the world we can possibly meet our own expectations. I completely agree that the era of “supermums” are gone. We can not do it all. We can not be expected to do it all. And we should not begin to expect ourselves to do it all. That being said, can we put into practice what we preach? For our sanity, and for those around us, YES!

    Pause. Breathe.

    Love you all.
    Miss you all.

    • It is so awesome to know that I hit all my best girls in the heart with this one – thank you all for your amazing support and love. And comforting isn’t it to know that we all share the same experiences and a relief to know we are together in all the crazy. So true Christina – time to practice the pausing and the breathing and not being so hard on ourselves. Love you!

  3. It use to be said that if women knew that they’d spend their most productive years changing poopy diapers, they might not have spent so much getting a degree. That’s not a problem anymore, now we just do it all.

    I love you Jane even if you made me cry with this post.

    The problem is, it’s all important. Our careers, being independent, teaching our children to take pride in and love what they do, spending time with family and friends, having relationships of depth and value… The hard part is prioritizing. But one things for sure, you’ll never look back and say “I wish I had worked more”. Broke or rich life will continue to move forward.

    I cherish every moment I get with you whether it’s in the phone, over coffee or connecting through a blog. Thanks for being so transparent.


    • Thank you so much Jody – it is so true isn’t it. And unfortunately there was an era of “superwoman” where we were told it was all possible. Now we can still be super women and we are, but in a more realistic fashion – but it is hard to stand up to that and say – I can’t do it all the way people think I can maybe. Wow I have made all my girlfriends cry today it seems – I am touched by all your replies! and it makes hitting that publish button so much more rewarding. It is scary to hit but your responses today have completely surprised and touched me – Love you lots!

  4. I love you! Thank you for the message. You had me filled with happy tears this morning, knowing how much you cherish your friendships. Love to everyone Jane is talking about as we are an amazing group!

    p.s. My holiday shopping is done and I’m off for a cup of tea and a bath!

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